


John's Blog

by ClaireBHypno



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 17:52:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 3,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13816371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaireBHypno/pseuds/ClaireBHypno
Summary: John Watson keeps a blog - these are some of his entries...





	1. Chapter 1

Well, it's been very quiet round here, Sherlock's had no cases - not even a three, so I've not really had anything to blog about. I was racking my brains trying to see if there were any old cases I hadn't already told you about, and realised I've never blogged about how I actually met Sherlock - so here you go.

I was looking for some new digs - I'd been living in a grotty one roomed bedsit - and I just happened to bump into an old friend of mine, Mike Stamford, who I hadn't seen for absolutely ages. We went to have a coffee, got chatting, and he mentioned that a mate of his was looking for a flatmate, so we went off to find him. In about ten seconds flat, Sherlock managed to look at me, see everything there was to see about me, and tell me my life story - it was amazing, I'd never experienced anything like it! He told me his name, gave me an address and swirled off. I felt rather shell-shocked, I can tell you, but against my better judgment I decided to go along and have a look at the place he'd told me about. Baker Street, Westminster - I didn't think I'd have a snowball's chance in hell of being able to afford to live there, but apparently Sherlock had managed to help out the landlady a few years ago with a problem she'd been having, so she was giving us a major discount on the rent.

The place was an absolute tip, boxes of stuff everywhere, piles of papers, odd objets d'art - none of it mine - but it felt like home in a way the bedsit never ever had, and I'd been living there for four months. The icing on the cake though was when he dragged me out on a case - the serial suicides that were all over the papers because of that MP - and cured me of a psychosomatic limp. To go from hobbling around like an old man to chasing criminals all around London in the space of a couple of hours was incredible, and I was hooked on Sherlock Holmes from that moment on.


	2. Chapter 2

It's raining again here in London, and I'm so pleased the case has been solved so I don't have to go out in it today! We're out of milk again, something to do with an experiment, but I don't know what kind of experiment involves just drinking a cup of tea every 15 minutes throughout the night unless it's an experiment in how to piss off your flatmate when he wakes up and realises he can't have his morning cuppa, Sherlock, and then refuse to buy any more while said flatmate is out at work all day?!! Luckily for me, all the local takeaway places get so much business from us that they're happy to pick up a pint from the corner shop and deliver it with dinner, so thanks Raj at the Bengal Tiger, your lamb rogan josh and chicken pakora will go down very nicely with the pint of milk I'm planning to drink just because I can!!

The case was an interesting one, a client called to ask us to find a valuable diamond necklace that had gone missing over Christmas - she lived by herself, and no-one else had keys to her place. We were pretty certain that was the case, as she'd just had new doors and windows fitted by a local double glazing firm. But couldn't they have kept keys and broken in, you ask? Well yes, that could have been the case, except the firm is a one-man business, and that one man spent Christmas in Tenerife with his wife's family.

Sherlock did his usual thing, spoke to the client for about two minutes, upset her dreadfully, then swanned off to look around, leaving me to try and calm the troubled waters. Next thing I know, he's off down the garden path, muttering something about a party - apparently she'd gone to some swanky Christmas do and worn the necklace, Sherlock was almost convinced she'd got drunk and lost it on the way home, but when we spent two days running around in the biting wind and freezing rain to interview her work colleagues, they all said the same thing - she doesn't drink at all due to an alcohol allergy (yes, that is possible, and no, it's not what you have when you're suffering from a hangover, that's pure overindulgence and doesn't deserve any sympathy at all, Greg!). Could she have lost it in the back of the taxi home from the party, Sherlock asked? No, the party happened to have been on that particularly warm evening we had a week or so back, so she'd walked home - a bit of a gym bunny, apparently, and doesn't like to drive if she can walk instead. Ah-ha, says Sherlock, perhaps she was pickpocketed without realising it? (Can you pickpocket someone's neck? I'll have to ask Sherlock…) Nope, says the client, and shows Sherlock a picture she uploaded to Instagram when she got home - the necklace is clearly visible around her neck.

That picture unlocked the entire case for him - he could tell from the light on the client's face that her dressing table was right by the window, and it was obvious then what had happened. The night was unseasonably warm, on top of which she'd left the heating cranked up too far before she'd gone out, so she'd left the bedroom window open and the curtains a little ajar to let the breeze into the room. Turns out there is a tree in her garden with a magpie nest in - the magpie had spotted the twinkling reflection of the diamonds as the breeze had blown the curtain around, hopped in through the open window and pinched the necklace!! Ten minutes of Sherlock up a tree later, and one valuable diamond necklace was safely returned to a grateful client, along with instructions to either keep the windows closed in future, or to lock up the jewels before bed!


	3. Chapter 3

It's been a horrible week, this week. After solving the Magpie Theft case last week, it took Sherlock all of three hours to declare he was terribly bored and needed a new case. When I pointed out he'd just solved one, and couldn't he find something else to do instead, he destroyed one of each pair of socks I own, claiming it was an experiment. I'm not sure why he only ever experiments on my clothes and not his own…

He's just read that over my shoulder, and claims it's because my clothes are made of "such interesting fibres, John…" He'll be interested to know what I'll be doing with his clothes if I ever have to go and replace any more of mine…


	4. Chapter 4

He's going to kill me for this one, but Sherlock's got an admirer! A lovely young lady in her seventies has heard about him and asked for his help in tracing her granddaughter - the case itself took him about twenty minutes on Twitter - but she's decided he's the best thing since sliced bread and keeps popping round with biscuits and cakes for him. Our landlady's nose has been put well and truly out of joint by the whole thing, as she usually bakes for Sherlock. I think she sees him as another one of her sons, she's constantly trying to feed him up and he rarely allows her to. Things got a little frosty around her for a while, after Mrs Evans dropped a box of biscuits off for the third week in a row - until I pointed out that he'd been scattering them in the park over the road for the birds - I'm not sure that's very healthy for the birds, but it's definitely healthy for our flat!

I told Sherlock what had happened, and he made a point of asking her if she would make some of her fabulous cheese scones and gingerbread - things warmed up rather rapidly after that, and not just because Mrs H's oven was on!

Mrs Evans, unfortunately, got the sharp end of Sherlock's tongue the next time she popped round, but it doesn't seem to have made any real difference, she seems to have just chalked it up to his genius and eccentricity, and keeps saying things about how she likes a man who speaks his mind and is forthright. I dread to think what's going to happen if she comes back with any more biscuits, but I suspect that if there's a dreadful murder of a little old lady in Fulham, Sherlock's going to decline to take the case… I sincerely hope DI Lestrade isn't reading this!


	5. Chapter 5

So Sherlock's been working in the morgue at St Bart's this week, our friend Molly often saves body parts for him to experiment on, and she's had some unclaimed kidneys. He claims all the experiments he does are essential for building his database, but I've yet to see the case solved because Sherlock knows the rate of absorption of Coca-Cola by the tissue of the big toe. Perhaps I'm missing some vital data there…

Unclaimed kidneys… I'm not sure how a kidney can be unclaimed, I can't imagine funeral homes turn up and take all of a body apart from the kidneys… Perhaps it's all the people who have transplants, and the ones they that aren't working are left over at the end of the surgery..? Except they don't usually take those out… If anyone knows how kidneys might go unclaimed, could they let me know?

Anyway, suffice it to say that as Sherlock's been out all week, it's been very quiet at home… I've been able to do loads of reading, finally finished the latest Dan Brown novel and wished I hadn't bothered… Sherlock of course had taken one look at the cover and told me that I'd hate the ending, but I ploughed my way through anyway. He's going to be insufferable now.


	6. Chapter 6

Not much to say today, I'm afraid, can't move my head too far in case it comes off my shoulders - spent the night in the pub with Greg - DI Lestrade. We started out watching the Six Nations, but somehow, somewhere along the line, celebrating every try with a new drink turned into some kind of awful drinking game. Think I got home about 4 am, I seem to have allowed a small rodent to take up residence in my mouth, judging by the taste of it… At least Sherlock hasn't started on the violin yet…

Speak of the devil and he's sure to appear… and bring his violin along with him… Please, kill me now…


	7. Chapter 7

This is a bit of a long shot, but has anyone out there seen Sherlock? He's gone missing, and doesn't seem to have his phone with him, and he's been working quite a nasty case. I've tried tracing his steps, but, well… I'd have to be Sherlock to be able to track Sherlock…

If you see him, please comment and let me know?


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks to everyone who commented earlier, we managed to find him, he'd been trapped inside a deserted shop while trying to solve a smuggling ring. Turned out to be absolutely nothing to do with the heavies running the ring, he'd misjudged things when climbing through a window. The shop had a sunken floor that wasn't visible from outside, so the fall was a lot further than he was expecting. Unfortunately, he managed to land on both his mobile (which smashed) and an uneven pile of rubbish which resulted in a rather severely sprained ankle.

He was in quite a bad way once he was found, being Sherlock he'd not eaten or drunk anything for a day or so - apparently it's bad for brainwork. Worse for stranded detectives, I'd say, maybe he'll listen to me in future! Luckily for Sherlock, there had been some interest in renting out the shop, and the estate agent responsible for it had popped down to check it over before he showed the potential renter around.

Sherlock is currently laid up on the sofa being quite the martyr - he should really have gotten himself checked out at A&E, but he won't have it. I'm forcing tea and toast down his neck as often as I can get away with, and I'm pretty sure he's had a bit of a fright, because he's not putting up that much protest.

As for the smuggling ring, he didn't solve it in the end, DI Lestrade did. He remembered one of the witnesses had bought some Belgian chocolates from a small farm shop, and they weren't a brand she knew. When Greg went to ask the shop owner about the chocolates, it turned out that the smugglers were bringing those in too, along with the alcohol and tobacco. Greg managed to catch them red-handed with a lorry load of stuff in the yard, and as you can imagine, Sherlock was not best pleased. I've threatened to get his mum down to look after him if he doesn't stop sighing.


	9. Chapter 9

Sherlock and I went out on a double date with Molly and her ex-boyfriend Simon last night - he wasn't an ex-boyfriend when the date started, but after Sherlock verbally eviscerated the poor bloke, he made a run for it, and Molly has since texted me to say it's all over.

Probably just as well really, considering Sherlock deduced that he's been organising a dog-fighting ring in Camden, and as Molly is a dedicated animal lover it was never going to work… especially not after Sherlock tipped off Greg and everyone involved got arrested… Just one more public service for you…

As is Sherlock's new dating service, apparently, since he's decided that Molly is incapable of finding herself a new beau and he's going to do it for her - including interviews for all the potential applicants - I can imagine that's going to go well…


	10. Chapter 10

Sherlock Holmes' dating service lasted all of three hours before being permanently and irrevocably shut down.

Apparently word got round that he was looking for a date, unfortunately it didn't get round that the date was for Molly not Sherlock… He was absolutely inundated with messages from women looking to take him out and let him know exactly what he's been missing, and even deducing them to shreds didn't have the desired effect…

He's spend the last two days hiding in the flat with his mobile off, trying to escape them - everyone that's trying to get hold of him is calling my mobile - which wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't been on call last night and therefore awake all night… I suppose I could have given my mobile to Sherlock, but I dread to think what would have happened if Harry or my mum had rung and he'd answered… *shudders*


	11. Chapter 11

Something a bit odd happened this afternoon, it's left me feeling a bit… Not shaken up, exactly, but not quite right. There's a café I go to most days, Hart's, not far from the flat. They do really good sandwiches there, and have decent tea - which they make using an actual kettle, not one of those hot water urn things that seem to be some sort of afterthought in the trendy coffee shops. Anyway, I was at the counter, ordering a bacon butty and a bucket of tea - it had been a long day already by lunchtime - and I got the feeling that someone was watching me.

It's a feeling I'm quite used to, when I was in the army I kind of developed a sixth sense for when people were hidden away and watching, it's like a prickling feeling on the back of the neck. I had a quick scout round the shop, but couldn't see anyone. I assume it was just a fan of the blog, that happens sometimes, people want to come and see us but are too shy to speak to us. If it was you, please do come and say hello - unless you're planning to say you hate the blog!


	12. Chapter 12

Okay, this is getting creepy now, since that odd day in Hart's last week, I've been seeing the same bloke around everywhere. I was on the bus into work on Tuesday and he was sitting across the aisle from me, then on Tuesday night he was sitting outside the clinic when I finished work. I thought he was going to follow me home, so I went to the pub instead, and luckily I know the bar staff quite well, and Angie allowed me to creep out of the back when I pretended I was going to the loo. Angie's under the impression that it's my animal magnetism again, but Sherlock just laughed when I told him… I said it worked quite well on him and he couldn't come up with anything to refute that, so I think I won that argument…


	13. Chapter 13

Stamford, is this down to you? Or the rugby lads having a laugh? I know I said I'd be able to play in the match last week, but I couldn't let Sherlock go off chasing a masked gunman by himself, goodness only knows what sort of trouble he'd have got into…

Look, I'm sorry for letting you all down, okay, but please, enough is enough… Shady bloke was following me round Tesco yesterday, and he was already sitting in Hart's when I went in there again this morning - if this carries on, I'll have to change my coffee shop, and I really don't want to do that because their tea is the best in the area.

Pints are on me next practice, as long as it stops now, okay?


	14. Chapter 14

Good news, dodgy bloke hasn't been seen since my last blog post - thanks lads! (I assume it was one of you, even though none of you have had the decency to get in touch… never mind, I've got my peace and quiet back now, and I haven't forgotten my promise!)

There was a girl in the cafe with a rather distinctive haircut though, she was asking me about the best place to get lunch, said she'd just moved to the area because it means she won't have to travel so far to get to work… Not sure why she'd be asking if she works in the area though, surely she'd have worked out already where the best places are? Anyway, she was asking where I live, turns out she's just around the corner from me… I didn't want to give her too many details, you can never be too sure whether someone's genuine or a bit of a nutter hiding in plain sight, besides, Sherlock wouldn't be too keen on the idea that I've been telling pretty girls all of my personal details…


	15. Chapter 15

Sammy, the girl from the coffee shop, is pretty persistant… I had to tell her this morning that I'm already in a relationship, but she still insisted on walking back with me this evening when I bumped into her… I walked her back to her flat, but I'm pretty sure she followed me back here… I've got the curtains shut because she's lurking around outside, sitting at Speedy's with the same cup of tea now for over an hour….

Oh, doorbell - I'll post this and come back to it later…


	16. Chapter 16

This is John's sister, Harry. I thought you all deserved an explanation before this blog was archived, so I'm posting it here.

John will be spending the foreseeable future in the Quentin Clinic. For those of you who don't know, that's a secure psychiatric clinic.

Sherlock was real. I only met him twice, but I could see how amazing his mind was, even if his manners left a few things to be desired. John had told me how Sherlock had taken one look at him and been able to deduce almost everything about his life and his career, and he did exactly the same to me. I contrived to bump into him outside a coffee shop, and he took one look at me and knew exactly who I was, and I mean _exactly_.

When Sherlock and John met six years ago, Sherlock had started a Consulting Detective Agency, and was taking private clients. He'd solved a couple of cases, enough to know that it was worth continuing on. He was full of a case that was all over the papers, do you remember the spate of housebreaking in Wandsworth? An Inspector Dimmock was investigating, Sherlock had seen an interview he'd given that had been reported (wrongly) in the local paper and something about it lit a fire under Sherlock - he apparently rushed off to speak to Dimmock and tell him where he'd gone wrong. That was when he was killed - some bloke over on holiday in London, used to driving on the other side of the road, got distracted just for a second or two, sped round a corner on the wrong side of the road and hit Sherlock as he was crossing. He was killed instantly.

John knew Molly, in that he'd met her a couple of times at the morgue, but they weren't the great friends he portrays them as in this blog. In the same way, DI Greg Lestrade isn't a personal friend, but the family liaison officer who stayed with John when they came to tell him what had happened.

John was heartbroken, he and Sherlock had clicked so intensely and so quickly, even though they'd only been together for a few months Mum and I knew they would end up marrying sooner or later. I think that was when he had some kind of breakdown, he disappeared and we've not been able to find him. We've known from the blog that he's still alive, obviously, but we hadn't heard directly from him in months, and we hadn't been able to find him until he mentioned the coffee shop he had lunch in - and yes, the dodgy bloke and the pretty girl were both friends of mine, trying to figure out John's address so we could do this with the minimum of fuss.

I'm sorry to have to break the news to you all in this way, but please rest assured, John will be getting the very best care from now on.

Harry.


End file.
